Do you think I’m exaggerating? I’ll give an explanation. If you have high problems self esteem (healthy):
You have confidence to overcome obstacles that often arise in life
Trust your ability to solve problems and therefore solve
You adapt to complex situations
You take “shock” of life with humor or make you feel bad
You dare to point to difficult targets
You establish positive personal relationships
For all the above, you have more success in your work life
Self-esteem is formed from early childhood, so it is important that parents encourage their children.
If you are an adult and have low self-esteem, do not worry because you can build. You just need to know how and some effort.
Common problems self esteem
If you have low self esteem often you compare and that’s not good.
First, because it will always be people who are better than you at something
Second, because often we compare ourselves with the wrong people. Comparisons are often based on the people around us.
For example, you compare yourself with your co-worker that is not anything special; He has not achieved anything special and no special skills.
However, just beat him, you consider yourself better or you feel proud.
How to solve problems self esteem?
With a change of perspective: to compare to admire.
For example, I can admire Rafael Nadal, Bill Gates or Malala Yousafzai.
It would be absurd to compare myself with them or be envious. If I admire automatically I imitate their behavior or values.
People often have the same way of thinking or behavior of the people he admires, but does not have its own results.
Learn from their values or behaviors, although I have a refusal to look at them or know what they feel.
I can also admire people around me.
Comparing often leads to unhealthy envy and admire often leads to imitate healthy behaviors.
When you see someone criticize someone who is successful, Stand out and admire that person who has success-and it is in family life, marital or employment.
2-Will the approval of others / wanting to please
If you are looking constantly to please others or seek approval, you are destroying your problems self esteem.
You cannot please everyone, there will always be someone who you fall ill or that is against your opinions.
Therefore, forget please. In fact, I encourage you to try to find the disapproval:
Acts as you really are, without thinking whether you approve or not (respecting)
Say your opinions without fear if they would please or not (when not personally hurtful or attack)
Show yourself against others’ opinions assertively
If you have to criticize, do it constructively. The key is to focus criticism on the task, not the person.
It is what is called constructive criticism and based on the task.
For example, if you have to criticize the work of a colleague, do it said in describing what you think has gone wrong job. Not to him.
-Antonio, Always do it wrong, you’re very bad worker.
‘Antonio, I think the report would be better if it is longer and has corrected the faults of grammar.
If you notice, in this last statement, criticism is accurate (it says what you want it to be corrected) and not directed to personal traits.
3-Find your happiness in others
This is a problem I see in a high% of people.
They are happy and feel valuable when they are with their partners, or have partners.
However, if you do not have a partner or your partner does not value them, they do not value themselves.
What happens is that if couples try them wrong, leave or have discussions, self-esteem drops rapidly.
It is important that you positively values for yourself, just as a person, not because you’re with someone.
Thus, if the relationship goes bad or not it will be destroyed your problems self esteem is broken.
Also, if two people have a healthy self-esteem, which is independent to have a relationship or not the relationship will work much better and there will be many relationship problems.
He is happy with others, not because there are others.
4-Believing that one is not worth enough
Valued at oneself
This is probably the most common and is inherent in self-esteem.
Self-esteem is an attitude of self-assessed; if you do have a high and positive if you do have a negative low.
The fact is that it is healthier values you the simple fact of being a person.
No matter what you well or whatever you bad, if you have a physical or other.
When you value yourself, you can better appreciate others and choose which relationships are those that bring something positive to your life.
5-Believe that you cannot achieve the desired goals
This problem is also inherent to have low self-esteem.
If you have low self-esteem, you tend to believe that you cannot get what you want, it is the goal.
He even affect when someone wants to get very simple things.
How do I fix problems self esteem?
Remember the things you’ve achieved in the past
Accept the possibility of failure and see failure as an opportunity to learn
Learn new things that build your belief that you have the ability to get things
The most unpleasant feeling of guilt that you can have.
Although not have to always be with a lack of self-esteem, it occurs often.
Actually, it is a way of keeping the public, family and relational order.
The problem is when is pathological: it occurs in excess, paralyzed, cause’s depression or low self-esteem.
Apologizing: Sometimes a sincere apology can be truly liberating.
Reallocation technique: examine situations that led logically to attribute blame and responsibility to each person.
Accept that you may be wrong
Assess the real consequences of your behavior
7-Worrying too much about the future
Normally, if you have high self-esteem, you think you have the ability to solve problems you may have.
And if you are low, you think you have problems to overcome them or you will go wrong.
It is a trend of thought that can be changed.
In fact, I used to worry too much.
How to solve it?:
Focusing on the present with mindfulness
Focusing on solutions
Accepting that there will always be problems and that the only thing you can do is try to fix
8-Being afraid of the unknown
While you are a human and live in this world, you’ll never have security. And if so, it would be very boring. It safe eliminates the excitement and emotion.
If security is positive for your personal growth is internal security of having confidence in yourself.
If you believe in yourself, you can explore the areas of life that do not offer anything safe and avoid following the path that everyone else walk.
In fact, if you want to emphasize something you’ll have to take your chances, it is impossible to achieve difficult goals highlight or if you do not experience some insecurity.
Moreover, security concept somewhat unreal, because you wherever you are and whatever you do you will always have some danger:
- If you stay in your home may also have accidents
- If you are in a bad job because you have “security” can also fire you
- If you only travel by your country for safety accidents can also occur
- It is not alarming ;), but that’s the idea:
What insecure and unknown you can provoke insecurity but are necessary to change, improve and experience new emotions.
And you others have problems self esteem issues? Read more to this article. Thank you!