Do you discuss with your partner and always end up in fights? Do you feel that more and more unbearable discussions with your partner? After arguing with your partner you like to fix things but do not know how? If any of your answer is yes, I have good news you at the end of reading this article you will know how to give solution to such discussions and prevent toxic to destroy your relationship.
The first thing I want to clarify is that all couples experience two types of discussions. Constructive discussions, which are based on dialogue and help strengthen the relationship. And toxic discussions, which are those that are based on fights and gradually weaken the relationship, including bringing it to an end.
It is therefore very important to know how to fix toxic discussions. It is also urgent to understand the catastrophic consequences of not giving timely solution to this problem and understand the mistakes made when trying to overcome it. That I explain in this article “Errors and Consequences of Toxic Discussions Romance”.
7 Steps to Solving discussions deadly Couple.
Step # 1 Prevention:
The first thing I want you to be aware, is that toxic discussions can be prevented. Because one of the reasons that lights the flame of toxic discussion, is to say something to the couple in the place and time indicated less. Unlike if you do it at the appropriate time and place, there will be less stress and better dialogue flow.
To prevent toxic discussions need to start by communicating things your partner in the indicated time and place. Not when watching the game, working or talking with her friends.
Even you can ask your partner when you can muster, saying something like: “I love when we meet 30 minutes I want to talk about (…) because I know that right now you’re busy / a”.
Step # 2 Response positively:
If instead the situation that your partner says something and is not the time or the right place, please take a deep breath, count to ten and remembering all the love you feel for your partner responds with a smile it gives “honey you be agree if we talk about this at night because we are not in place or right time to talk.”
And if your partner agrees Perfect! But continues to apply the same formula until you do understand that both of them should discuss that topic in another place and time, otherwise it is likely to end up fighting.
Step # 3 Seeks Dialogue:
In case you perceive that begin to alter in the middle of a discussion, it is important to seek dialogue before they end up in a toxic discussion (fighting).
It is important to understand that silence, ignore the situation or to agree with your partner just to avoid discussing, not the solution. Because it only takes to accumulate things inside and eventually it is worse. The key is to communicate your opinions calmly, in order to achieve a peaceful and constructive dialogue.
Step # 4 Make A Stop:
If the discussion comes to the fight, insults or disrespect, is already having a very toxic and discussion are signs that indicate that it is better to change course.
Remember that in the heat of the discussion often say many things which are not true first and second just makes speak and act without thinking of the consequences, so then comes repentance.
So to avoid all that, from now when you perceive that to discuss with your partner, either or both is beginning to change, you have to become aware that this path only leads to a sad end, so it’s time to do a stop, so everyone calm down so we can change the course of the discussion to a more tranquil harbor.
You can tell your partner something like this: “I know love if we keep discussing how so upset we only do harm, you agree if we find an hour to calm down, turn around and then talk when we are calmer because altered not achieve nothing”.
What it is to avoid reaching fights and start removing toxic discussions, to begin to cultivate dialogue and calm in all discussions.
Step # 5 Listen:
Take time to reflect alone allow us to reassure us, heal our wounds and focus before trying to communicate again with our partner.
It is therefore very important to use the stop time to reflect on what happened, leaving pride aside and putting yourself in the place of your partner to understand it better, and thus resume the discussion from a new perspective for solving.
Ponders the sake of argument, the way you addressed your partner, and if there are errors in your words and admit it prepared to ask the appropriate apologies. And analyzes whether it thinks they are discussing is so important to alter your life partner and steal time happiness together.
Step # 6 Using the magic words:
And then calm down and think it is important that you start again the discussion with your partner being aware that you failed and of course accept it to improve it.
And your partner to express your interest to make things better and how much you value your relationship, it is important to use the magic words, which are:
(I know I did …) I know I did wrong in wanting to talk to you while you were busy working.
(I understand that …) I understand that you too will alter you.
(I think …) I think we can talk at a better time if you agree and so sort things out.
(I agree that …) I accept I made a mistake and correct it to improve our relationship.
(Forgive me …) Forgive me for having insulted.
Obviously this with a tone of friendly, sincere and low voice.
End Step # 7:
Lastly, listen to what your partner has to say openly and seeking to understand their position, not to be right.
Then rinse and everything Put him together peacefully end to this discussion, both reaching an agreement, the two have to respect. It is a serious mistake and is very important to avoid this, the retaking the discussion in the future when it is supposed that the two and gave solution to that, and the issue was closed.
So you know, to reach an agreement, I was just, it puts an end to the subject with a smile and normal life continues.
Finally keep in mind that discussions couple are part of the relationship, the key is to use them constructively and intelligently cultivating dialogue and good communication, not avoid them, quieting things that bother you or think.
Remember… “If there is good communication in discussions couple never be insulting, but talks”.